He admits that he works a lot, he doesn’t meet a lot of women, but he’s looking for the right woman: smart, driven, beautiful. Not one for online dating or apps, he hates dating, and he’s frustrated and clueless.
You’re puzzled as to why. There is an aura of mystique that surrounds him when you meet, a kind of power and presence in his energy that he isn’t even aware of, and that is exactly what makes him so intriguing.
He may unexpectedly sweep you off your feet with his depth, his intensity, his thoughtfulness. Watch him when he’s lost in thought, for that
yet intent look in his eyes.
Suddenly you will find yourself in love with this strange but brilliant man.
When it comes to smart, introverted men, you may very well be the only woman they have liked in a while. Fatally shy, they may never ask you out.
But if they do, each and every one of them will be almost comically nervous around you. Their hearts will race like crazy the first time they hold your hand, walking along the city’s waterfront under a starlit night sky.
You will hear the same words over and over from them: You are amazing, you are beautiful, and you are gorgeous. Your skin is so soft, you feel so good, we fit so well together.
They say that they love you and that they care a lot about you. Perhaps you decide, against your better judgment, yes, why not, you would like to go on a crazy journey together.
Congratulations: you will know
and intensity of a connection few would think possible.
Every time, it’s the little things that make you love him even more. He’s attentive to detail, gracefully anticipates your needs. Oddly neurotic in the strangest of ways: afraid of heights, of germs, sensitive to sounds. You’ve never met someone with his sleep patterns: he sleepwalks, he needs very little sleep, he’s out like a light.
Mostly, he just wants to make you happy. He loves to be with you, just to hear you talk.
You will laugh together, play together, dream up inspiring futures together. In the span of a few minutes, you can shift easily from giggling like silly 4-year-olds to discussing sensitive issues.
You’ll make love. You’ll fuck. Relax blissfully into each other’s arms. Lulled into a sense of home.
You will know a oneness that transcends worlds and words.
One day, he will decide to leave you. It will be sudden and swift with no warning.
Troubled at last by doubt, terrified that committing any further will hurt you, triggered by personal traumas, he will decide, quietly, independently — because that is how he has solved every problem — that it’s over.
He’ll miss your insights. Your freewheeling conversations. But that’s it.
His willpower and discipline
you will never hear from him again. The linearity of his mind means he will conclude, like a logic game, you were not meant to be.
He will not look back, QED.
You will never really know why. You will be haunted for days, months, even years. Till the end of time.
When you meet such a man, do not fall in love. You will be demolished, devastated, systematically destroyed, yet again, by yet another smart, introverted man.
LEARNING TO SAY GOODBYE
It felt as if my uterus was going through death throes. “How can someone even think of breaking up with me?” I thought to myself, I’m a very good person, very comfortably and anybody should be happy to have me and now what?
The pain kept getting worse, I stopped eating or doing anything, I would just lie on my bed and weep. I had a beautiful soul but he couldn’t or didn’t want to see a future with me.
I hadn’t dated anyone in years before this man. At least eight. You can’t imagine how important he was to me. So the break-up was a huge blow. Considering that he broke up with me before and later came back begging and crying, I thought that after the first one and after he asked for me back, his issues would somehow magically disappear and I’d be by his side, holding his hand as we get older together. I thought I would be Married to him.
I loved him to the extent that in my mind, this man was a fundamental part of my future, even if he couldn’t envision that future right away.
At a point, it became a long distance for a while, but there was a way to
that distance, and I was willing. He asked me to move in with him which I obliged and quit my job. I moved in with him everything was moving on smoothly. Then out of the
he said it was over. I mean I didn’t see that coming.
I held on too tightly to him believing that something inherently good awaits us while we walk.
Now, I’ve been called beautiful before, and funny and smart and a darn good person. But these traits aren’t necessarily the floor for success in a relationship. Sure, they help (not the “beautiful” part, physical beauty is but a fleeting whim of DNA) — but who really knows the oddities that make one person fall in love with another? Are they emotional-psychological traits that we know to be desirable or is it the vibration of our
particles in sync with someone else’s? Why do we choose one romantic partner over another?
Humans are the only living beings capable of rational monogamy. Humans are the only living beings capable of partaking in the life of another and improving it, making it a better, more beautiful place. Humans make each other home to other humans.
Bleed out the one-sided hopes, bleed out the one-sided dreams and pretty much become an empty vessel once again, for new hopes, for new dreams.
Someone who truly loves you (and I mean truly with a mature-type of love, not romantic infatuation) will not hurt you. And will want to co-habitat with you.
And, unless they’re super anti-marriage because of something utterly traumatic, they might just want to marry you. And no one should ever apologize for wanting that type of covenant with another.
Just calm down and see what God has in store for you. You’ll re-invent, you’ll figure it out. You’ll find
your why. You be okay. Nature doesn’t have a plan. Nature just is. And in being, it thrives.
Maybe you should be like nature, maybe we all should do the same. Just be. Just thrive. Learn to let go of what isn’t meant to be and make room for what is. It’s extremely important to learn how to be okay on your own. You have to learn how to provide for yourself, pick yourself up when you fail, wipe your own tears and make yourself happy. It’s great to have people there for you but you don’t have to always depend on them.
In all you do, you must forgive and let go of the hurt for forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It frees you from the past, past experiences and past relationships and you will be able to find love again.
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